I guess I haven’t updated this thing in a while.

My big crazy Top Ten list got me noticed by the folks over at GameCola.net, and I’ll be writing some reviews for them whenever they get their new site finished.  “Posing dead bodies in funny positions in Oblivion” has now been magically transformed into “conducting important journalistic research.”  Fun times.

I realize that I neglected to ever make a single post about the graphics I’ve done for PROJECT X (working title).  It’s a bit stalled at the moment, probably until our programmer gets some time off from school around Christmas, but he put in such an insane marathon of work on it during his stay in Japan this summer that I honestly think it’s in a playable state as it is, at least in terms of features.  I’ll eventually want to fancy up the basic tilesets I’ve done thus far, but I think the next big thing that needs to be tackled is character animation.  Farewell, little spooky robed limbless placeholder guy.  You are truly a credit to your race.

Misc | No Comments »

(I just submitted this to GameFAQs’ daily Top 10 List section, so I figured I’d upload a super deluxe version here, complete with images.)

You’ve seen it on game cover after game cover: the mighty hero holding his sword aloft in a noble pose, either rippling with steroid-derived manly muscles or glowing with a mildly creepy soft effeminate grace depending on whether the game is a WRPG or JRPG. Swords, swords, swords! Okay, fair enough, swords are pretty rad. But what about that other classic weapon of the fantasy battlefield, a weapon even older than the sword and perhaps even more deadly? I refer of course to the bow and arrow, so often relegated in games to second (or third, or fourth) fiddle while the main hero gleefully hacks away with his oversized novelty anime blade. The ancient Greek dramatist Euripides referred to the bow as “that coward’s weapon,” but in this list I have collected ten characters who show that a bow-user can indeed be the hero. (Dood.)

~~~

#10: Elf
Gauntlet (ARC)

Okay, so pretty much everyone in Gauntlet has ranged attacks, even the axe-wielding Warrior and sword-swinging Valkyrie. Still, the image of the fast-moving arrow-shooting Elf likely springs to the minds of many retro gamers when they think of archers in video games, so I think he definitely deserves a spot on this list as the granddaddy of them all. Fun Fact: It turns out this guy’s name was “Questor” according to the manual for the NES version. So… uh… the more you know! (Cue NBC chime.)

#9: Pit
Kid Icarus (NES)

Another classic character, but one who has made a recent comeback by popular demand. Truly a master of the bow, Pit possesses the amazing ability to fire arrows both sideways AND upwards! Alright, alright, much as was the case with Gauntlet’s Elf, the bow-based gameplay in Kid Icarus is fairly simple, and I suppose it could be argued that Pit’s new ability to break his bow into a pair of blades makes him something of a sellout. Nevertheless, Pit earns a spot on this list as one of the brave early pioneers who eschewed the sword in favor of the bow. Rumors abound about a future Wii game starring this hero, so perhaps we’ll soon see if his skills have evolved since his NES debut. (Diagonal shooting!?)

#8: Elf
King of Dragons (ARC)

What kind of badass brings a bow to a sword fight? A pointy-eared nature-loving tights-wearing badass, that’s who! A fun fantasy-themed beat-em-up which appeared both in arcades and on the SNES, King of Dragons featured five characters to choose from: Fighter, Cleric, Dwarf, Wizard, and of course the classic green-clad Elf. “Hey! You already included Elf!” THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A DIFFERENT ELF, YOU RACIST. Or at least I think it is. It’s kind of hard to tell all these generic fantasy elves apart, so I’ll admit they could all be the same guy. Regardless, while warriors and orcs clash blades, the Elf peppers his enemies with arrows from afar. And he’d be wise to maintain that distance: his lack of HP or defensive upgrades means he’ll be reduced to a bloody pile in just a couple of hits. Definitely for players who like to live fast and hard… or who just like to wear tights. (Same thing, really.)

#7: Diana
Arcus Odyssey (GEN)

I actually hadn’t heard of this game prior to researching candidates for this list, so I owe a special thanks to Supremo of the GameFAQs Genesis board for the recommendation. Arcus Odyssey is an isometric co-op action game, sort of like Gauntlet with a bit of an anime flair. At first glance, Diana might look like a clone of Gauntlet’s Elf in terms of gameplay… at least until you fire her arrows into a wall and notice that they have an interesting ricochet effect. Bounce arrows around corners to safely take out enemies! Fire arrows into the walls as you walk down hallways to create a barrier of flying pointy death in front of you! Hey, it may not be a huge innovation, but Diana really is the first character on this list to take archery beyond the usual “fire arrows in a straight line” gameplay. (Plus she gets bonus points for being the only elf on the list with enough fashion sense to dump the overdone Robin Hood look.)

#6: Bo
Breath of Fire (SNES)

In my quest to find notable archers, I generally tried to avoid turn-based RPGs or strategy games in favor of action-oriented games which give you more direct control over the bow-based gameplay. However, I was willing to make an exception for Bo since his archery skills can also be put to use outside of Breath of Fire’s turn-based combat system. Yes, Bo can actually pull out his weapon on the overworld map and take aim at adorable woodland creatures who venture too close to your party. Their broken and bleeding bodies provide nourishing health items which will prove quite useful as you rampage across the countryside perpetrating random encounter monster genocide in typical JRPG fashion. If you’re having trouble skewering some of the faster critters, you can obtain high-speed arrows by fusing Bo with Karn and Gobi to create the unstoppable hybrid man-dog-fish monstrosity known as Shin. (And violate numerous bioethical principles in the process!)

#5: Turok
Turok: Dinosaur Hunter (N64)

I also tried to avoid licensed characters in favor of original creations, but many people were introduced to Turok through the original N64 game and don’t even know about the long-running comic.  The early Turok games had some pretty crazy weapons. Whether you’re annihilating everything in sight with the Fusion Cannon or setting yourself up for lengthy disability litigation with the Cerebral Bore, you’ve got a lot of ways to mow down the motley assortment of mercenaries, dinosaurs, and aliens that stands in your way. But every now and then, Turok feels the need to put aside the new-fangled high tech toys and get in touch with his roots… through the proud Native American warrior tradition of explosive-tipped Tek arrows. Notch up an arrow, let it loose at your target, and enjoy the blue flash as your screaming foe flies through the air. And the fun doesn’t stop there, because you can continue to juggle dead bodies in the air with successive explosions! (This may or may not also be a proud Native American warrior tradition; I do not claim to be an expert in the field.)

#4: Wander
Shadow of the Colossus (PS2)

You’re a tiny little guy. Your opponent is a towering giant made of earth and stone. You’ve got a horse, a sword, and a bow. Your opponent has several tons of bludgeoning force with which he can reduce you to a greasy smear on the grass. “HEAVEN OR HELL, LET’S ROCK.” Despite how it might sound, the odds are actually in Wander’s favor. Although each weak point on the colossi must be destroyed with a thrust from the sword, Wander can ride circles around his foes and turn them into pincushions with his bow to soften them up a bit first. In many cases, a well-placed arrow is the key to manipulating the colossus’ behavior and gaining access to its vital spots. Once you’ve cleared all 16 colossi, Wander can unlock new archery toys such as highly explosive “flash arrows” and distracting “whistle arrows,” which are basically the medieval fantasy equivalent of saying “Look over there!” and kicking your foe in the shin. In addition, Wander truly has some fancy maneuvers: he can turn completely around in the saddle or even take standing shots from the back of his galloping steed, Agro. Speaking of Agro, you should take a break between colossus fights and reward his unwavering loyalty with a rousing game of “catch the flash arrow.” (He loves it, I swear.)

#3: Link
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (WII)

Yeah, yeah, yet another boring stereotypical little elf guy in a green outfit… oh, wait, my bad, it’s Link! Haha, sorry, lay down the pitchforks, scary Link-obsessed fangirls! Although Link is most commonly thought of as a swordsman, the key to killing Ganon has always been the Silver or Light arrow, which naturally requires a bow to be fired (although I guess in theory you could try to poke Ganon in the eye with it). In addition, Link has often been able to acquire Ice, Fire, and Bomb arrows with unique effects. Quite a versatile arsenal he’s got there, which secures him a high place on this list. But as well-known as Link is, I actually considered ranking him even lower then the third spot, believe it or not. However, I found that the motion controls in the Wii version of Twilight Princess made the bow a viable choice not just as an occasional back-up weapon, but as a primary weapon. Needless to say, I promptly sold the Master Sword and used the proceeds to stock up on arrows. (And punched Zelda in the face when she asked to borrow the bow, which is the secret to unlocking the alternate Jerry Springer ending.)

#2: Marksman-Alchemist
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (PC)

So who could possibly oust the famous Link from a higher spot? Random nameless player-created Oblivion character, that’s who! Well, it’s not so much a specific “Who” as a possible skill combination for the character you create. The bow combat in the Elder Scrolls games has never been anything terribly special (at least without the use of any of the fantastic player-created mods that exist for the PC version). Point the bow at target, fire, miss 9 times out of 10 because your Marksman skill is too low. Ah, but Oblivion provides the interesting opportunity to use the Alchemy skill not just to produce beneficial potions, but also crippling poisons to use against your enemies… and arrows serve as an excellent delivery mechanism. There’s nothing quite like being chased up a hill by a bandit, grabbing a handful of flowers from a stump, mashing them into a paralysis toxin on the spot, and then injecting it into your pursuer with an arrow to the spine. Sit back and enjoy the show as he tumbles backwards down the slope, and then repeat when the paralysis wears off and he comes running back up again. Sisyphean fun for the whole family! (Yes, that is a real word.)

#1: Garrett
Thief: The Dark Project (PC)

You smile in satisfaction as your arrow finds its mark and the guard slumps to the ground. “One shot, one kill,” you think to yourself. “Game Over” the screen announces to you. “Wait, what?” Well, you’re playing the revolutionary stealth classic Thief: The Dark Project on Expert difficulty, and killing of humans is strictly forbidden. You may wonder then: What good is a bow if you can’t shoot anyone with it!? It’s plenty good, Garrett would reply. The master thief truly has the most varied selection of archery-based tools of any character in any game ever.

In addition to the standard broadhead arrows, four elemental arrow types exist. Arrows tipped with water crystals can be used to douse torches to create shadows to hide in, clean up blood stains from encounters that turned ugly, or can be combined with holy water to repel the undead. Moss arrows drop a soft carpeted path of plant-life to muffle your footsteps, allowing you to sneak up on a guard who would otherwise be alerted by the sound of your approach. Fire arrows explode on impact and can take out multiple foes at once. (Don’t worry, non-humans are fair game.) Gas arrows are scarce, but spread a cloud of vapor that will knock-out anyone who wanders into it. There are also two more non-elemental arrows: noisemaker arrows which draw the attention of anyone in hearing distance, and rope arrows which can be fired into wooden beams or other soft surfaces so that you can climb up to inaccessible places.

This is all in addition to Garrett’s supply of flash bombs, lock picks, invisibility potions, speed potions, flares, oil flasks, spy orbs, proximity mines, killer frog eggs(!?), and of course the trusty blackjack. As of the writing of this list, Thief 4 has recently been announced. Who knows what new gadgets or arrow types may be developed for Garrett’s ever-expanding arsenal? When I first conceived of this list, there was no doubt in my mind that Garrett would take the number one spot. (Heck, if I didn’t give it to him, he would have just stolen it anyway.)

~~~

Although I knew who my top picks would be right from the beginning, filling out the rest of the list proved to be a bit of a challenge. It’s likely that I may have missed some notable archers from games that I am less familiar with, but I think this list provides a decent sampling of what’s out there for anyone who has had enough of swinging around giant sharpened phallic symbols and every now and then would like to fire smaller projectile phallic symbols at their enemies.  (And c’mon, who doesn’t want to do that!?)

Games, Misc | No Comments »

The following is a reply I posted to the GameFAQs discussion board for the Super Nintendo classic “SimCity” almost a year ago. For the uninitiated, the game (related to the popular “Sims” series) simply involves laying out buildings and roads to construct a city, tweaking the layout to achieve optimal results and a higher population. There is no definite end or way to win the game.

Anyway, I just now stumbled upon this post I wrote, saved as a forgotten text file in one of my folders. It was posted in reply to a player who asked:

“i spent a half hour making this little city, it’s running perfectly..now what?”

“Now what?” you ask. Catharsis, of course.

I just finished building up an attractive Metropolis on the practice-mode island. I built my house in the middle of the central forest, and refused to allow any construction to encroach upon my estate except for a large park directly in front of my house (for private use, of course). I also left the northwest forested island untouched save for the addition of a single tree (the Sacred Yggdrasil) on the one unoccupied square.

I spent decades performing minor adjustments, trying to get it to 100,000 without compromising my specially reserved domains. I finally achieved it by restructuring the west coast to squeeze in a few extra industrial zones and then eliminating the industry on the east coast and replacing it with residential/commercial zones. Built up a funding surplus for a couple of years, cut taxes to zero, let it grow.

It was perfect.

I gazed upon it, letting a few years pass, watching the seasons change.

And then I knew that I had to destroy it, that I could not simply set it down and walk away.

The ground shook, the waters rose, the wind howled. The fires raged for years. The towers toppled, the Holy Tree was consumed, my palace and my people turned to ash.

When the flames finally died, when the rubble finally settled, I looked over the scattered broken ruins and imagined an old man standing beside the remnants of the crumbling library, telling his tale to travelers as they passed: “There once was a great city here…”

That, my friends, is how you “win” at SimCity.

Games, Misc | No Comments »

To add to what I mentioned in my last post:

While having nicely organized, easily accessible text would be very handy for purposes of translation, what would be even cooler would be a “text edit” option in the debug mode so that you can actually translate the original text while you play the game.

For example, you’re playing some dinky little RPG, walk into town, talk to random NPC.  The character’s dialogue pops up in a text box, as usual… and then you hit F1 or whatever to go into debug mode, hit the Edit option, and you can actually delete and replace the text, right there in the game.  Gives you a chance to see the text in context while you translate it, rather than trying to make sense from an out-of-context text dump…

Of course, I’m nowhere near being able to implement something like this, but I think it’s an awesome idea which I will most definitely make a point of implementing if and when I am capable of doing so… and if I ever make something worth implementing it in.

Programming | No Comments »

I haven’t forgotten about my project, but I’ve been a bit bogged down with other distractions (e.g. a flooded basement).  I’ve done a bit of reading and research during this time, and I think I’ve got a basic grasp on the specifics of how to go about doing the things I still need to do.  I’ll try to get a complete working version together (still sans art) when things calm down.

I’ve also been taking an interest in fan translations of various console and PC games and the process involved, both on the translating end and the hacking end.  It often seems like there are more translators available then hackers, which slows down the process.  It occurs to me that if I ever get to the point where I can make some type of game, even something fairly simple, that I’d like to handle the text in such a way that the production of a translated version can be handled by the translator alone without the need for a hacker.

To this end, I’m starting to formulate an idea for some kind of practice project.  Nothing fancy, but just something along the lines of a simple program that displays text and messages drawn from a set of subfolders containing plain text files, with an option to easily change the active path and thereby switch between which text file the program is using.  You’d be able to produce various translations of the original text file and then dump them into their own subfolder under the ”languages” folder, and have the new language setting automatically appear as an option in the menu.

I suppose one of the first steps would be to figure out how to organize the folders and how to break up the text.  Separate files for different components of the program?  English>menus.txt, English>dialogue.txt, English>items.txt, etc., and you simply recreate this structure for any language you want to add, and the program does the rest.

Kind of useless on its own, but definitely a nice feature to add to larger programs.  I would imagine that there are plenty of examples of “language settings” like this already in use.  I guess how this is a little bit different is that it’s really more about “potential language settings” and their easy future implementation.  It’s just too bad they didn’t do it this way for all those old games… or for current games, for that matter.  The original language text is cleanly and clearly organized for the sake of the translator; change one folder in a target path, and bam, that’s all the “hacking” you need to do.

Programming | No Comments »