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if you hear a fart whistle sound, duck and cover.

I’ve been hearing all about these Harrison Ford sightings in the Wichita area, and tonight I finally found out why. He’s been in Wichita, training to fly helicopters! I’m perplexed as to why he came here to do that, although we are the “Air Capital of the World.” I don’t think I’d say anything to him if we met; I’d just nod my head slowly, both of us knowing damn well that we are complete strangers. And it will be that way forever. [Update: Kurt Russell is also here. Read about both celebrities in Wichita here.]

Someone was stabbed in the downtown library today. Was it because of a disagreement in philosophy?


My friend Brian came and visited me from Manhattan this afternoon. He was here on business, and I got a chance to catch up and see his latest Apple products… his iBook and iPod looked really, really cool.

After playing poker with many people tonight, I was feeling creative while walking out to my car. Suddenly, my mouth drops open, and I whisper this in a sing-song voice to no one in particular:

“Reese’s, Pieces; where’d you get those feces?”
~set to the song “Jeepers Creepers”

OH MAN.

I forgot to mention that I got a fart whistle for my birthday. It was a present for my sister, and I use it as a distress call.

With it is my least favorite kind of candy in a Runts box. Banana ones are the hardest to chew, taste the worst, and make you wonder who’s great idea it was to include them. “Well, we have oranges, apples, limes, and every other round fruit we can think of in this candy. Even some that don’t exist! Oh wait, what about bananas?!?!?! Shit!”

Who wants to go see “Chicago: The Musical” downtown at Music Theatre of Wichita on Sunday (7pm)? It should be freaking great.

6 Comments

  1. jim jim

    yah, “where’d you get those feces?” hah! you should record that and send it to maralyn mansons label and make 50 bucks!! then you could probably buy the label!

    blech, but then again, why would you?

    just go buy a great computer game or dinner a couple times.

    thereyago

  2. Brian Brian

    Thanks for having me over, Adam!

  3. Carrie Carrie

    hey A DAM!!! I was in wichita with the folks today and they think they saw a helicoptor. They would like to believe it was Harrison.

    I don’t know what the hell you think you are talking about, but the banana runts are by far the best tastin. It’s also a very nice change from all the other round fruit. Well, atleast that’s my opinion.

    love ya,
    Carrie

  4. the banana runt provides a necessary sense of conflict, without which the runt experience would be incomplete.

  5. ann ann

    you’re crazy.

  6. WHAT?!

    Banana flavored candy is just like having celery flavored candy. It can be good as a food, but the artificial flavors aren’t up to snuff yet.

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