On recommendation from my friend Micah, I Netflix’d the cancelled Fox series “Wonderfalls” and then immediately almost killed myself as I watched five, 45-minute episodes in a row. Everything started off just fine, although I sensed my annoyance grow each time Jaye Tyler, the lead character, spoke in that “Gilmore Girls” meets “Juno” sort of way. Is this really, absolutely how all 14-24 year-old girls speak now? I happen to know a few in that category, and feel blessed that they sound nothing like these snarky, spoiled ladies (and I use that term loosely.)

The premise of the series places a slacker girl named Jane smack in the middle of touristy Niagara Falls, where she barely withholds her disdain for fellow mankind. Of course, there’s a twist, just like any new television series, and this one throws talking chotchkies, stuffed animals and brass monkeys at her. They whine and demand that she respond to relatively benign statements, like “bring her to him.” The entire show basically revolves around these riddles, with their murky pronouns, and the rest of each episode is spent trying to follow these commands until they result in all loose ends neatly tied, with a bow on top. Imagine pouring honey and sugar all over the Joan of Arc story line, and NOT killing the main character, and you have “Wonderfalls.”

I was left with a migraine that made me feel like vomiting, but I’ll give one more disc a chance. I may have overextended myself.

Wonderfalls music video, with theme song by XTC’s Andy Partridge. This won’t help.

Addendum: I’ve confirmed that Micah never even finished the season.