Static electricity: why I hate my sofa

Has anyone else had this problem? I bought a micro-fiber couch many months ago, a chocolate-colored ditty that looks good in my apartment. I spent a fair amount of money for it, at least for someone buying his first big piece of furniture besides a bed, so I’m rather perturbed about this. Whenever I sit on the thing, the ape-like hair on my arms immediately rises and reaches out for the soft fabric. I suppose it’s the sign of a dry winter environment, but it still seems odd that these things are sold without some sort of warning. I’m trying the dryer sheet treatment, but what if that doesn’t quell the demons within?

Let’s not even talk about the back cushions becoming shaped like those dinosaur chicken nuggets you ate in the gradeschool cafeteria. Those may be remarkably nutritious, but not comfortable.

4 responses to “Static electricity: why I hate my sofa”

  1. Dad Avatar
    Dad

    They make anti-static spray. Of course, it probably depletes the ozone or causes the hairs on your arm to grow 3 inches per day…

  2. CambodiaFrank Avatar

    The “ape-like hair” on your arms? I would have described it as “sloth-like” or at least “baboon-like,” you damn dirty ape!

    Seriously though, can’t really help you out there. Just don’t carry around jugs of gasoline or canisters of butane gas when you sit down.

  3. Warren Avatar

    Couches like that are made for people like me with mere whisps of body hair (which I hope my hirsute head makes up for). In your case I’d shave it all off and donate it to Androgenic Hair of Love.

  4. Cristina Avatar
    Cristina

    I’m sorry, but friction is pretty hard to beat.

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