I’ve returned from a hellish week in St. Louis, my friends, one full of round orange balls and the mighty ego of sports writers. As always, I’ll get to that at a later time (I promise this a lot) for now it’s time to list a bunch of random items I pulled from my complimentary St. Louis Post-Dispatch that I found outside my hotel door.

“His first two car trips resulted in carsickness and a nauseous dash to the bathroom. He hadn’t traveled in a car in 16 years.” – by Ben Preston,a former journalism student who helped free Joshua Charles Kezer

Only Illinois and Wisconsin forbid concealed weapon permits. We are a sea of tranquility here in the Land of Lincoln.

“I thought for a while that maybe I was writing songs, maybe I was writing stories, but then I found out I was writing poetry.” – STL poet Devin Johnston

examples: “Customs” – “At the sink, a business traveler memorizes one hand with the other.” Also: “Hog Island Oysters”

“Important Artifacts and Personal Property from the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion, and Jewelry“ A new take on breakup fiction, told through an auction catalogue with dry listings and flat photos. The items take you from the start of the relationship to the bitter end. A review

“As we gleefully wander through the fortnight buildup to the NCAA’s March Madness in our annual search for an underdog we can believe in, the Missouri Valley Conference Tournament is a mandatory stop on this Cinderella star search – with good reason.” – Bryan Burwell, Post-Dispatch writer

Review of new Bonnie and Clyde book: “The real Clyde was short, skinny and nowhere so glib and handsome as Warren Beatty. The real Bonnie had a gimpy leg, drank way too much and was nowhere so pretty as Faye Dunaway.”