Last night I sat on my couch after a nice evening outing, watching episode after episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” then realized that I could be killing myself doing just that and went to do the dishes. All fine and dandy, a Monday night in apartment D.

I check Twitter during all of this fracas and see that all but two* of the trending topics are inane gobbledygook. In other words, millions and millions of idiots are participating in poorly worded discussions.

Examples included: #sheprobablyahoe, #imnotsaying, #omgfacts

I take great offense at the first example, not because of actual whores being potentially offended, but rather because of the etymology of the word itself. “Ho” is the preferred slang of whore, NOT “hoe.” So to all those whippersnappers out there in Twitterland, I give you my hoe and tell you to bring me back a fine selection of winter potatoes.

And Richard March Hoe would not be pleased. You know, if he were still alive.

*full disclosure: both “Miep Gies” and “Anne Frank” were also trending last night.

I leave you with a worthy palate cleanser from The New York Times. A 104-year-old strongman from Brooklyn was finally brought down by a minivan.

Joe Rollino once lifted 475 pounds. He used neither his arms nor his legs but, reportedly, his teeth. With just one finger he raised up 635 pounds; with his back he moved 3,200. He bit down on quarters to bend them with his thumb.