I found myself sitting at the pipe organ console, a 3-manual behemoth with pedal board and pipes shoved in all areas of St. Francis of Assisi Church. I once was an organist there, from middle school through high school, and this was not the same organ. I remember an electronic beast, with speakers crammed where the pipes now reside, temperamental and constantly being struck down by lightning. Notes would stick, lights would flash ominously, and one could easily assume the whole thing was haunted. This was the organ I learned on, shrill and imperfect.

You might assume that over a decade of piano lessons would equip me for playing anything with keys – and you’d be wrong. I eventually took organ lessons at Newman University from an old nun (spunky, but what other type is there?) This was my first honest-to-god pipe organ, and it hurt to switch to something so inferior each week back at my church.

While in college, a few individuals decided that enough was enough. A pipe organ was purchased from a closing church, the entire thing shipped to Kansas and the building process began. It’s an Aeolian-Skinner, a marquee organ maker, and it’s shocking to hear how loud it can be. The architecture of the church twists the sound into something flat and uninspiring, but sitting at the console mere feet from the 16’ and 32’ pipes, you simply don’t care.

I still have music contacts in Wichita, and I was practically begged to try it out. So I spent 45 minutes flubbing around as my sister watched and occasionally shushed me when I’d open things up a bit. I brought no music, unprepared for the opportunity, but it served two important purposes. A reminder that the organ is deceptively similar to a piano: notes play forever, key action is unforgivably sensitive, and in addition to two hands, there are two feet to contend with and a bevy of stops and other mechanical switches to operate. But most importantly, I realized that I need to get serious about music again.

Music performance is a tug-of-war between perfection and passion. Combining the two results in intense moments of anxiety and joy.

Not sold on pipe organs? Let me change your mind:
Saint-saëns Symphony No.3 Finale
Louis Vierne First Symphony Final Movement