Our longest episode yet! We are reminded that Bicycle Thieves is indeed an important piece of cinema. Don’t steal. Now, an important question – how big is your head? Big enough for “The Big Head Club”? Regardless, it’s time to find a theme song for this podcast. Maybe after we learn that one of our members has a reputation for kicking holes in things. You must plant your seeds in another field. Do you understand what I mean?
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Hey, look! It’s the e-cigs guy! We watch chain-smoking vampire Stephen Dorff (and Wesley Snipes) in Blade. Since it’s nearly summer, we turn our attention to swimming memories – and realize that they aren’t always positive. And speaking of blood, this seems like a good time to question the vegetarian motives of one of our members. We’re not exactly the March of Dimes.
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Oh no! Half of the Movie Night™ members are missing! We soldier on (on Memorial Day) with Downton Abbey’s predecessor, Gosford Park. There’s really no difference between the two period dramas. Even Maggie Smith is identical. Urgent haircut discussion saves us from the early 20th century and we cut the whole thing short. When a man’s as short as you are, it must be difficult to gauge the height of the birds.
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We get rather serious about world affairs (particularly of the Middle East) with the Palestinian movie Omar. Add a dash of Sandra Bullock/Cameron Diaz/actress/actor hate, then a dead bird that’s hung itself ominously in Downtown Peoria. Hungry for cereal? You only get coffee if you do Brando.
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The box said something about it being a psychedelic ghost tale, but rest assured that this House (or Hausu) has no rules. Also scary? Moths, apparently. Your neighbors’ wireless network name. Donating plasma. You’re so cool, Kung Fu.
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With the soothing sounds of traffic and outside nonsense, we embark on the perfect Cinco de Mayo movie – Slaughterhouse-Five. I mean, right? Then it’s time for a lengthy discussion (with godawful audio dropouts) about the St. Louis Arch and one hellishly long arm hair. Believe it or not! That corporal. He’ll get back home after the war. He’ll be a big hero. Dames’ll be climbin’ all over him.
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Remember that string of black comedies by Martin Scorsese in the 1980s? No? Come with us to After Hours. But soon the questions begin to overtake our poor group – is a home run or triple harder to hit? Have you ever had light bulbs delivered unsolicited? Will anyone listen to an hour and a half podcast episode? I said I wanna see a Plaster of Paris bagel and cream cheese paperweight, now cough it up.
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Uh oh, a blind pick! Once we get through watching this schlock, we take great joy in beating it up like your average playground bully. For over 30 minutes! But we do learn that a member among us bought THREE penny whistles in Ireland and that there’s a new mechanical bull closer to home. I’m just tying me laces, man.
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Welcome to Iran! We’re here for a movie about the making of a movie – A Moment of Innocence – which makes for a difficult and terrifically slow start to this episode. But if you make it out alive, things barely pick up after a half-hour and we start talking about the dead (or nearly dead.) What a nightmare! I can see she’s underlined the good bits.
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A classic silent film with an ironically great soundtrack – 1928’s The Passion of Joan of Arc. On the agenda for us this week: Bucket hats of PBR cans, books from Illinois’ Secretary of State, faxes and last name confusion. But have you ever “vamped”? And do you really know what a “kangaroo court” is? That has nothing to do with this trial!
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