Words never before uttered at Movie Night™: I hate that movie. We move on to creepy institutions like Gary Puckett, downtown car glamor shots and yet another haircut update. But nothing gets the group more animated than a good, ol’-fashioned breadstick bashing. I am a ghost. I am a ghost. I am a ghost.

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So many mustaches in Tombstone… but we’re most fond of Val Kilmer’s understated nose decoration. We soon veer off to discuss hibachi karaoke, poorly performed Twitter parody and traveling clowns. Listen, Mr. Kansas Law Dog. Law don’t go around here. Savvy?

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The sci-fi trend continues! After seeing Alien, you’ll never eat breakfast the same way again. One of our members recounts her first time buying beer at the liquor store – just hours before Movie Night! Then we pick sides in the lyrics versus music debate. We’ll move in pairs. We’ll go step by step and cut off every bulkhead and every vent until we have it cornered. And then we’ll blow it the fuck out into space!

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We’re barely able to discern the difference between 2001 and Moon – but tonight we have a real robot in our midst! Meet Marty, our mopping friend. A solitary member of our group explains how he ran from a cop in his basement workplace and his desire to get into a car accident just to meet a girl. You look like a radioactive tampon… like a banana with a yeast infection.

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Confidential Report. Or is it Mr. Arkadin? No matter. Orson Welles is still rolling over in his grave at the hatchet editing job. The gang bickers about collaborative documents (ones that would bestow this poor podcast with a bountiful harvest of topics), then spars with vinegar valentines before spending a lengthy amount of time in serious travel discussion. Baroness, a fool is a man who pays twice for the same thing.

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Another week of aliens! Enemy Mine may crib heavily from that war of the stars movie, but its lovable nonetheless. We ponder a pepperoni pizza on multiple continents, dis the lyrics of Paul McCartney on a sacred anniversary of The Beatles, then try to determine if were cut out for racquetball or are merely riffraff. Oh, my God… Oh, my God, are you telling me you’re pregnant?

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An alien discovers food, shelter…. and boning? We watch The Brother from Another Planet, debating whether this New York ever existed. An emeritus member of Movie Night™ writes a letter to be read out loud, a current member recalls his days of stealing copies at Kinkos and another is discovered to have a deathly fear of groundhogs. I’d rather be a cockroach on a baseboard up here than the Emperor of Mississippi.

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Finally! A western. Seven Men from Now features an uncredited leading role: coffee. The dentist flower incident comes back from the dead, we cringe at debearding mussels and the list goes off the rails from there.

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We sit in a daze after watching 12 Years a Slave, drenched with sorrow and disgust for being humans. We eventually pull out of the mood and discuss other Oscar nominations, heavy statistics on Movie Night itself and dying on Mars. A plague! Its damn Biblical.

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In Hong Kong, theres apparently a Drug War going on – get it? A war on drugs. We are blown away by the beauty of Buicks, stats are teased and don’t forget to degauss.

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