Dear Judd Apatow,

I feel it necessary to break rank and tell you just how much I dislike your “brand” of comedy. I’m man enough to admit that I did love one creation of yours, the defunct TV series “Freaks and Geeks.” At the time, it was a fresh approach on the nerdy life. It was the start of what I will coin “The Apatow Approach.” You’ve received critical acclaim and now have a slew of new movies in production. Entertainment Weekly ranked you as #1 on their list of 50 Smartest People in Hollywood. But could you tell me the difference between “40 Year Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up,” and “Superbad?”

Plenty of directors/producers/writers stick to a formula. Wes Anderson comes to mind, with his twee-drenched, 60’s pop-accompanied flicks. He casts the same actors and actresses over and over again, and so do you. But while he seems to have a greater inspiration in his work, you appear to have never left the beer-stained, beta-male college existence you no doubt experienced. Weak female characters emphasize your adolescent terror of women, sickly family values somehow give you an excuse to toy with profanity like a 6th grader might. It’s time to grow out of that.

Your latest, “Walk Hard,” was a disappointment. Ann Hornaday of the Washington Post said it perfectly: “The best part of ‘Walk Hard,’ oddly enough, is the music. I might not care to see ‘Walk Hard’ a second time, but I can’t wait to hear it again.” Most of the gags were three times longer than my attention span. And when we’re talking about a penis protruding in the top-right of the screen for minutes on end, I think we can all agree that shorter is better. (ahem)

But what really brought this to a head is my recent viewing of “Superbad.” I was excited to see Michael Cera, an actor who I believe has enormous comedic potential. But Jonah Hill, a tubby, strident whiner who clings like a parasitic lamprey to Cera, ruined this goddamn movie. As Wesley Morris of the Boston Globe said, “it mostly made me understand the case for staying a virgin until you’re 40.”

So, what’s the solution? I propose a two-fold fix. First, consider tinkering with small-budget indie movies. Learn how to flesh-out your characters and how to portray someone beyond a 16 to 25 year-old middle-class white kid. And two? I’ll avoid any and every project with your hillbilly name attached to it.