Read, damn it, read! And so I am. I have a few library books I’m chugging away on finishing before owing 3 figures in fines, yet I want to forget them and start All in the Timing, fourteen plays by David Ives. Posthaste.

It begins with a preface to rule all prefaces:

Thank you for your very kind letter about my plays. Here are the answers to your questions:

1. Longhand, with Bic blue medium-point pens.
4. Yes
5. No
6. “Pinocchio”
12. By moistening the tip and saying, “Wankel Rotary Engine,” of course.

You get the idea. 41 answers. And a cover of a man with an axe embedded in his head. I assume that there are actual plays in the book, too. I can’t wait.