Greetings, Starfighter! You are watching The Last Starfighter, a movie you last saw in 1984 while wearing very short shorts. Did you know that there’s a connection with The Music Man? You don’t care? Then let’s talk about the elephant in the room – the 100th episode of Movie Night. We’re going out to the cinema and there is much planning to do. So let’s talk bananas instead. One member of our group abhors them (bananas!) while another eats three a day (also bananas!) This, is my Wife-oid, and six thousand little grig-lets.
We finally pick a sequel without watching the original movie! F/X 2 gives us men in breast prosthetics, robot clowns and hot dogs in tennis ball cannons. Yes, you guessed right – it’s great 1990s fun. After a brief digression about clown songs, we turn our full attention to the demise of the mall. Did you know that you can’t get hot nuts just any time of year? Rollie you dumb bastard, the mob wasn’t stealing them; they were returning them to the Vatican.
No animals were harmed in the making of this podcast. How this relates to Her is difficult to understand, but every episode must have a beginning. This film unearths surprising annoyance among some in our group. Too twee? Maybe. Too shallow? Perhaps. We finally debate gifts from previous romantic partners while a certain noisy stomach ruins the mood. You’re dating an OS? What is that like?
We join the bad boys of Japan in Kurahara’s The Warped Ones. And girl – who spends many, many minutes using her grating laugh as an effective weapon. But we enjoy the cinematography, which is decades more modern than this film’s 1960’s origin. Imagine a window open at night. There’s a horrible scream. What do you do? Only guys who can’t appreciate jazz get into fights.
“I don’t feel like talking.” Yes, it’s the perfect intro for our podcast. We all seem to agree that Spike Lee laid an egg with Da Sweet Blood of Jesus. It’s a sucky vampire movie – get it?! We discuss the finer points of bleeding. Our quieter member casually mentions that she’s watched movies at 1.5x speed, which is truly bananas. Someday we’ll rise up against our soft drink overlords, but not yet. Good luck at the robotic soda fountain, listener! It’s a lovely day.
Who’s ready to pound a ‘nog? The holidays may be over, but the spirit never dies. We blast Joan Baez and keep our gaze locked on the crazy eyes of Bruce Dern in Silent Running. Sing along with us: Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum. A big hello to the sheriff, who is probably, most certainly (not) a listener. Something about cantaloupes being rolled out of a moving car causes them to explode? You are NOT using those things in my forest.
Ahh! We almost have a medical emergency on our hands within the first 3 seconds. But what a start to the episode! They Live, right? Speaking of living, did anyone else learn to tie a necktie in their high school gym class? Anyone? This seems insane, but the topic of boots comes up AGAIN. Brother, life’s a bitch… and she’s back in heat.
We welcome a guest on this episode – hello to Matt from Spain! Ready to dogfood this podcast? Starred Up is frankly one of the best prison dramas. The thick across-the-pond accents may tempt you to flip on subtitles, but please resist. What’s prison like, anyway? In this case, your private/delicate/beautiful/special parts may be in danger. We bring up a million other movies at random and settle in for a bit of grilling shop talk. Oi!
By this time, you’ve shredded through the defenseless wrapping paper, watched only the endings to the same three holiday movies, devoured food items that you don’t even allow into your own home and forgotten anything…